Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot and Prongs
by ThePandorica
Summary: Written for the HPFC forum – The Just dialogue/description challenge. A series of ten short drabbles about the Marauders. #7 up now!
1. Snivellus

_Written for the HPFC forum – The Just dialogue/description challenge. _

A short drabble of those lovable four – The Marauders! Enjoy.

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"Moony?"

"What, Prongs?"

"You know I love you right?"

"Ugh...What do you want?"

"Ah, well ...nothing much, really. It just-"

"Spit it out, Prongs."

"Oh alright, it's Snivellus"

"...Yes?"

"Look don't raise your eyebrow at me, Moony!"

"You do know I hate Snape as much as the next person, but-"

"...But?"

"But, I'm not getting involved in anymore of your stupid plans!"

"I don't think that it's stupid..."

"Yes, well that's because –"

"Oh! What is this I hear? Prongs, would you mind explaining?"

"Great..."

"Shut it, Moony. And Padfoot, Moony and I were just concocting our latest trap for Snivellus."

"It was more one-sided, really."

"Snivellus? Well, whatever you say mate, I'm in!"

"I was hoping you'd say that, Padfoot. Now all we need is Wormtail!"

"Wait. Who said I'd agreed to this?"

"Shush, Moony. PETER!"

"...WHAT?!"

"Get you arse down here!"

"But-"

"We don't care, Pete! We're concocting another plan!"

"...Really? What about?"

"Well, if you came down here..."

"Seriously, Wormtail really needs a kick up the arse, sometimes."

"Well said, Padfoot."

"Why thank you, Prongs."

"Wormtail, finally! Take a seat..."

"What's the plan, James?"

"Peter, it's just another one of Prong's stupid plans to make a fool out of Snape, again..."

"Which naturally Moony, objects to..."

"Of course, Padfoot. Besides, as prefect..."

"Oh, stop with the superiority already!"

"You know you're just jealous, Prongs."

"..."

"Exactly."

"Anyway, the plan!"

"Yes, Wormtail – well, I was thinking, how about we test out that spell?"

"What spell?"

"Ugh – seriously, Pete. You're so thick sometimes, I wonder if you even have anything in that head of yours..."

"Um..."

"Think Wormtail!"

"No. Not Levi-"

"YES!"

"Whoa, I thought we'd lost you there for a minute, mate."

"Nah Prongs. You can never trick Pete, here. "

"But-"

"...Yes, Moony?"

"I was just wondering, when were you thinking of carrying out this genius plan of yours?"

"Aha! See, Padfoot! I knew he'd come around to it!"

"Nice try, but no. I just don't want to be around when you decide to do it."

"...But that's the point, Moony."

"What?"

"It'll be spontaneous!"

"James, this isn't some cheap trick to show off to Evans, is it?"

"...Maybe."

"Okay, this is silly."

"What is?"

"You, Prongs! At least Sirius has some secret sex-appeal to him and Pete here comes across all cute! You, on the other hand, just drag that big head of yours around!"

"Wait. Moony, you think I have sex appeal?"

"Big head?!"

"Cute?"

"..."

"Moony..."

"You don't. Wait – "

"Stop laughing, Sirius."

"You-you don't bat for the oth-"

"No! Of course, I don't!"

"O-okay. Just checking, cause if you did..."

"What?"

"Nothing.."

"I'm confused now. Wormtail, what about you?"

"Yep. Totally..."

"Okay, Padfoot, Moony. We'll be up in our dorms if you need us."

"Cool."

"Fine."

"..."

"Sirius..."

"What?"

"Stop winking at me."

--

**Review?**


	2. Quidditch

A/N: Thanks to all those, who have reviewed! Part 2, now up

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"James, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like Pete?"

"Well, um – I don't know..."

"He's practising, you idiot."

"Thank you, Padfoot!"

"What for?"

"What FOR? Padfoot, would you mind filling our little clueless friend in?"

"Sure thing, Prongs. – It's Quidditch, Pete."

"But...the game isn't until next Frid-"

"Exactly."

"But, surely you should be doing something else and-"

"...and what, Wormtail?"

"Well, stop playing with the Snitch..."

"Wormtail, you're as bad as Moony sometimes."

"Which reminds me Prongs, where is our furry little friend?"

"Library."

"..."

"...What, again?"

"Yes Padfoot, again. – As Remus would say, when in doubt-"

"...go to the Library."

"Ah, so you've heard it before."

"Prongs, we're best mates with the guy. We share a dorm with him!"

"...Point."

"Honestly mate, where's your brain today?"

"I always liked the colour blue..."

"..."

"What?"

"Blue, you know – the colour. Sheesh.."

"Prongs, what is wrong with y- ...Oh."

"Evans."

"Yes, thank you Pete."

"Sorry, I was just saying..."

"Well don't."

"She is looking fierce, today."

"Prongs, don't go there..."

"Maybe I should – "

"No..."

"Hey Evans! Looking hot, today!"

"...Ugh, there he goes again."

"Will he ever learn?"

"I doubt it Wormtail, I doubt it."

"What up guys?"

"Moony!"

"Wait. Where's Prongs?"

"Evans..."

"Oh, right."

"You look a little miffed, mate."

"Yeah..."

"Book are bad for your health, I keep telling you..."

"It's not the books, Padfoot."

"Then...?"

"It's the full moon, tonight."

"Mm – I thought you looked at little haggard."

"Not funny, Padfoot. Will you guys be there?"

"What do you take us for, Moony? Course we will!"

"Good."

"Sh-should I go and get Prongs, before he embarrasses himself anymore?"

"Nah, Wormtail. You'd probably just embarrass him further. I'll go..."

" M'kay, Sirius."

"..."

"Have you got your wand, Pete?"

"Yes...why?"

"I think Prong's head will need deflating, by the time Padfoot brings him over."

"You're not serious are you?"

"...Sarcasm, Pete. Sarcasm."

"Right."

"..."

"So, how'd it go Prongs?"

"Moony, mate! Y'know I really think she's warming to me. Wouldn't you say Padfoot?"

"Mmm, what? Yes, your charms are about as useful as a chocolate teapot."

"See guys! I told you it'd work!"

"Yes, I can tell Prongs."

"Thanks Moony."

"...Sirius, did you say chocolate?"

"Not now, Pete."

"But I am hungry..."

"You've just had lunch!"

"Well..."

"Wormtail, drop it."

"...Sorry."

"Hey, it's not your fault that you've got a bottomless pit for a stomach."

"Thanks?"

"No problem."

"ANYWAY – Moony, Sirius, Pete, I feel in the matchmaking mood."

"Ugh...not again."

"Now, now – don't roll your eyes Moony."

"But last time – "

"Was a disaster?"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Padfoot."

"Oh, trust me Prongs. You don't need any more confidence..."

"...As I was saying, I have a plan."

"..."

"Get ready for the onslaught, boys."


	3. Matchmaking

**A/N:** Number three, people! Review?

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"I've got a lovely bunch of-"

"Padfoot…"

"coconuts. There they are, sitting –"

"Sirius…"

"in a row!"

"SIRIUS!"

"Big on- …What?"

"Shut up, will you?"

"Okay! What is with you, Moony?"

"As much as your singing is lovely Padfoot…it is rather annoying."

"He's got a point, you know Sirius…"

"Wormtail? Finally stopped stuffing your face, have we?"

"Hey! …That's not the point. People are looking."

"I bet there isn't anybody in the castle who-"

"Okay, okay Moony. You made your point!"

"Thank you."

"…But, it was a pretty awesome song."

"Mmm."

"What? You don't think so?"

"Well…."

"It's not your best, mate."

"Thanks Wormtail. …Which reminds me, where's Prongs?"

"…"

"Moony, wait no. Peter, spill please?"

"Pete…don't"

"Urm…"

"Peter, I shall buy you a whole share in Honeydukes…"

"Oh. Remus, please?"

"No Pete!"

"..But he _did_ say…"

"I don't care."

"…"

"…Well you guys are rubbish gossips aren't you?"

"We're also good friends, Padfoot."

"Yes. If Prongs wants private time with Ev-"

"PETER!"

"Woops…Sorry, Moony. Ouch!"

"Deserved it…"

"Aha! Thank you, Peter! Finally, the truth comes out at last."

"Peter, I'm seriously going to…"

"Hey, lighten up Moony! Merlin, anyone would think it's the full-"

"Ugh!"

"…"

"…What ruffled his fur?"

"I honestly don't know, Padfoot."

"…Well, whatever it is – Prongs is going to get 'ripped' tonight!"

"Ripped?"

"Oh, y'know – Interrogated, made fun of, taken the piss out of…"

"Right."

"My goodness...And you take Muggle Studies, Pete."

"I know…"

"Anywho...since you are such a bad gossip, I'm going to start."

"What?"

"Joanna Littlewood – what do you think?"

"What – the short, blonde Ravenclaw?"

"Yeah…"

"Erm, um…She's alright I suppose…Cute."

"Great…"

"What? Uh- Sirius, you're not thinking of…"

"Peter, it is simple. Have you got a date to the dance, yet?"

"No…"

"Then, go with Joanna."

"But, she doesn't even..."

"Yes she does. A lot, she does."

"How do you know?"

"…A few minutes in the broom cupboard, perhaps?"

"What?!"

"Alright, Pete. Sit down, mate. It was just to get the info out of her…"

"I don't believe you."

"Trust me on this one."

"So, what you're saying is – is that you, all time charmer Sirius Black has been in a broom cupboard with a girl, and not managed to snog her?"

"…Well, I wouldn't use the term snog.."

"Sirius!"

"Hey, what? She was coming onto me! Plus, she is kind of cut-"

"Ugh!"

"What are you stressing for? You haven't even asked her…"

"I might do."

"…Well, then go on. What's stopping you?"

"Oh, nothing. Just the fact that Sirius Black had to snog the information out of her, somewhat cheapens the authenticity, a bit."

"Authenticity? Pete, you're sounding like Moony. How many books of his, have you eaten?"

"I don't eat books."

"Course you don't…"

"…"

"Well, if you're not going to ask her yourself, I'll ask her for you."

"Sirius, no!"

"Hehe – catch me if you can, Peter!"

--

**Review? **


	4. Christmas

**A/N: **Oooh – Chapter Four, now up! With a Christmassy theme...Review?

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"It's Christmas!!"

"_Merlin,_ Sirius! Keep it down, will you?"

"Sorry Moony, but I'm excited!"

"...As if I hadn't noticed already."

"Sorry mate. Look, it's only –"

"6am in the morning, yes."

"...So your point is?"

"Ugh. My _point_ is that you woke me up ridiculously –"

"It's not ridiculous. I was perfectly excused to..."

"As I was saying! Ridiculously early, so that-"

"Hey Guys!"

"Hi Prongs!"

"Ugh...James."

"Okay, what did I do now?"

"Pshh. Don't worry mate. Moony just woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning."

"What?! On Christmas?!"

"I know...It's practically a sin."

"Will you two shut it?"

"Oooh. Sorry, didn't know you felt _that_ way, mate."

"Yeah. Prongs and I will just walk around in silence from now on."

"Stop mucking around guys. You don't have to walk around in silence..."

"..."

"I meant that by the way."

"..."

"Sirius, I'm warning you. James, you too. I just slept rough last night."

"Say you love Christmas, and we will think of speaking to you again."

"...I'm sorry, but wh-"

"Say it!"

"Ugh, okay. I love Christmas."

"With all your heart?"

"With all my heart..."

"As much as you love Professor McGonagall?"

"As much – wait, I am _not_ saying that!"

"But we all know that it's true!"

"'_Oh please Professor! I've completed my Transfiguration homework three weeks early, just for you!'"_

"I did not say that..."

"Yeah, but you would have done mate."

"Look, Prongs and I are just saying that there is nothing wrong with liking an older woman."

"Yeah - wait...were we?"

"Of course we were!"

"Right."

"And there is nothing you can do abo- ...Wormtail!"

"Um, Merry Christmas guys?"

"Come down here!"

"Okay? But you're being very loud, you know."

"Exactly. Sirius, I tried to-"

"Moony, this morning your viewpoint doesn't count."

"Why not?!"

"...Because you didn't say the last sentence."

"Get a life, the pair of you."

"...Um, chocolate anybody?"

"Oh, yeah please Pete!"

"Sirius?"

"Yeah, alright. Thanks..."

"Remus?"

"No thank you, Peter. It's too _early_."

"You know – I love Christmas."

"Yes, I agree Prongs. Almost as much as Moony loves –"

"Argh! I do not love McGonagall!"

"..."

"Actually Moony, I was going to say; 'As much as Moony loves books, but whatever."

"Yeah mate, we're not going to judge you."

"...Remus?"

"What, Pete?"

"What is going on?"

"Ugh, don't worry. I'm going back to bed, anyway. It's too early."

"Oh, okay. Nig- wait, um... I mean, see you later!"

"Yeah, see you guys later."

"Have a nice sleep, Moony! Dream lovely dreams..."

"...Of McGonagall."

"Hahaha."

"Nice one, Sirius."

"You two are so immature, it's a wonder I even bother talking to you."

"...Well the offer _was _there, Moony. We didn't have to talk..."

"Shut it!"

"..."

"..."

"Chocolate?"

--

**Review? **


	5. Memory Charms

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait! I shall try and update a little for regularly, as these are such fun to write! Enjoy, as always...

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"Guess what, Moony?"

"...What James?"

"Guess!"

"Oh please, don't bore me Prongs. What is it?"

"But Moony..."

"..."

"Fine! Have you finally managed to deflate your head?"

"Haha, ye-. Wait, what? No!"

"Well, then what is it? I am out of ideas."

"Ugh - I have a date to Hogsmeade! We're meeting at eleven."

"Oh well done. Now, which girl did you blackmail? Celeste? Annie?"

"Merlin, you don't stop do you?"

"Mm. Sarcasm _is_ my middle name, you know."

"...Really?"

"No, of course not you idiot!"

"Oh..."

"..."

"So, what actually is your middle name, then?"

"John."

"John?! What kind of middle name is John?"

"_My_ middle name, as it happens Prongs. Care to share yours?"

"Oh, no I-..."

"It's Ignatius"

"What the he-?! Sirius! I swear I will..."

"Hey!"

"..."

"Merlin, James – don't kill him!"

"Shut up, Moony!"

"Pfft, Prongs gerrof me!"

"I said not to tell any-"

"Petrificus Totalus!"

"FOR FU-Oh, thanks Moony."

"Don't mention it."

"I thought James was going to –"

"No seriously, don't mention it. I'm going to obliviate his memory when he starts to move again."

"Oh, right."

"...So, where've you been?"

"Broom Cupboard."

"Right...Who with?"

"Actually, nobody. I was just...studying."

"Who with?"

"Johanna."

"What? Oh Sirius – Wormtail's girl?"

"Wormtail likes the opposite sex?"

"Of course you idiot! You set her up with him!"

"Oh. Yes, so I did. ...That's a shame."

"What?"

"She's a really good kisser. It'll be annoying to break it off..."

"Padfoot!"

"What?! It's true. Wormy's really missing out..."

"Ugh – you don't get it!"

"That's a point though, Moony. Where is Pete?"

"Mm, I don't-"

"Urrrrrr...."

"Oh shite, he's moving!"

"Merlin, Sirius. No need to have kittens. I'll fix it. Obliviate."

"Moony? Padfoot? Where am I?"

"Morning, James. You fell asleep on the floor last night."

"Did I? Right..."

"I think you better go and get ready. You promised to meet your date to Hogsmeade at eleven."

"Oh, yeah. S'pose I did. Don't want to keep Evans waiting..."

"..."

"Moony, do my ears deceive me? Did he just say _Evans?!"_

"Seems he did..."

"What the hell have you done?! Do you want him to come back missing a limb?"

"No. I actually think that his date to Hogsmeade is Lily Evans."

"Well, how the world has changed..."

"I know."

"Ha – Next thing you know, you'll be getting married to some crazy chick with pink hair!"

"Or you'll become celibate..."

"..."

"Or not..."

"Haha. Just remind me never to get you to alter my memory, 'kay?"

"Fine by me. Just don't do anything stupid."

"Ahh. Can't promise you that, Moony."

"Well then..."

"You know, you really are quite scary when you do stuff like that? Brilliant, but scary."

"Thank you."

--

**Review?**


	6. Losing the Game

**A/N:** Something a little more serious this time around. ...Well, sort of. =) R&E!

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"I can't believe it..."

"Neither can I..."

"We _lost_ the game! Against bloody _Hufflepuffs!_"

"That Diggory and Summerby are so going to pay."

"Agreed Prongs."

"..."

"You know, you should have lent me your Beaters bat when you had the chance."

"Well, sorry for not reading your mind, Prongs."

"No. It's okay, Sirius."

"Good, good."

"..."

"..."

"Wow. Who died?"

"Argh – do you have to be so obtuse Wormtail?!"

"Yeah, Pete! Can't you see the source of why we are annoyed?"

"No, I can't. I mean...I know you lost and every-"

"Exactly!!"

"Oh, right. Sorry Prongs."

"Ugh. Just don't bother Pete."

"Um, okay?"

"See you later Padfoot, yeah? I'm off to see Evans."

"Cool. See you later, James."

"..."

"Sorry Sirius."

"Don't mention it, okay?"

"Oh- I- um..."

"..."

"Moony is looking for you, you know."

"Really? Why? I thought that he hated Quidditch."

"Well, yeah he does. But –"

"Ah! There you are Sirius! Where's James?"

"Said he was going off somewhere..."

"Oh, right."

"I-I just said that you were looking for him, Remus,"

"Did you? Thanks Pete."

"What did you want to find me for anyway?"

"Um, well actually now might not be the best time..."

"Spit it, Moony. I don't feel like pissing around."

"Oh well, it's just that Snivellus has been talking about you again."

"So? Who cares what that slimy little twat says? I don't..."

"Yes, but the thing is –"

"Moony!"

"What Wormtail?"

"I have to go pee."

"..."

"Well go then!"

"..."

"What the hell, Moony?"

"Ugh – I don't know. Didn't bother to ask why he keeps asking me that..."

"Anyway?"

"Anyway, he dragged Evans into it somehow. Gave her a potion, says it's for Slughorn but actually she's going to give it to James."

"Why would she give something to Prongs, if Evans was told to give it to Slughorn?"

"One word, my friend; Imperio."

"That BASTARD!"

"...Calm down, Padfoot."

"No. I'm going there right now..."

"What?! James is with Evans, now? Why didn't you say?"

"Didn't think..."

"Oh, um...go, yes go. But please, don't kill the poor sod."

"Just don't kill the poor- ... don't kill him? I have every plan to, if he is going to try to harm my friend!"

"...Be careful!"

"..."

"Remus? What's going on?"

"Long story Wormtail, but basically expect Snivellus to end up in the Hospital Wing shortly..."

"Oh. That sort of story, eh?"

"Yeah..."

"You know, Sirius is going to regret doing that one day."

"Doing what?"

"Rushing off to random places or wherever he's gone. Could get himself killed, or something."

"Lovely thought, Wormtail. Do you often have these morbid thoughts?"

"Oh yes. I think that James and Sirius are probably going to die rushing after someone, and you are probably going to snuff it by having a bookcase fall on top of you, or something..."

"Pftt. What about you? Ever given a thought about yourself?"

"Mm. I don't know. Suffocation terrifies me personally..."

"Nice."

"Not really, Moony..."

"Sarcasm, Pete. Sarcasm..."

"Oh. ...Right."

**--**

**Review? **


	7. Queen?

**A/N:** This chapter was just a little fun, - short and sweet. Enjoy!

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"We are the champions, my friend!!"

"And we'll keep on fighting to the end!"

"Something, something, blah –"

"...Tuneful Prongs"

"Thanks Pads–"

"..."

"...You guys know Queen?"

"Of course we know _Queen_, Wormy!"

"Yeah, Padfoot and I know all about _Queen."_

"I can...hear that. Freddie Mercury would be spinning in his grave."

"Who's Freddie Mercury?"

"And you said that you knew about Queen, Prongs!"

"But we do. Old lady who lives in a castle? Talks all 'lah-de-dah' and drinks tea?"

"Ughhh – not _the _Queen - you know Queen, the _band?!_"

"What? ...The 'we are the champions' blokes?"

"Yes!"

"My, my you're quick today James...Sirius."

"Moony, ol' pal!"

"How's the furry little problem?"

"Oh, Gertrude's fine Sirius – thanks for asking."

"Um, Remus..."

"Yes, Peter?"

"Do _you _know who Queen are?"

"Mmm... The band, I'm guessing?"

"See!! At least someone knows!"

"All right Wormtail, no need to froth at the mouth."

"Thanks Sirius..."

"Hey! That's not fair! Plus, Moony walked in just as you were giving the answer away!"

"No he wasn't!"

"Pillow, James..."

"..."

"Incendio."

"WHAT?! You'll pay for that Prongs!"

"_You_ threw it Wormtail..."

"..point..."

"Careful Prongs, Wormy looks ready to blow."

"What's he going to do Sirius? Moony's holding him back anyway..."

"...And getting a black eye in the process!!"

"Woah Remus. Didn't know that you could shout so loud."

"James..."

"_What_ Sirius?"

"I really don't think that you should bait Wormtail..."

"Why on earth not? What is the worst that could happen?"

"Weeeelll, last I heard –"

"Arghhh, Peter!"

"Bloody hell Moony, are you alright?"

"F-fine. Just a nosebleed. _Episkey."_

"What, are you seriously going to expect me to believe Peter hexed you?"

"No actually James. He punched me..."

"Hahah – wait, what?"

"Surprise, surprise James!"

"Holy shit, Wormtail! You scared the living – ...why have you got my wand Peter?"

"Petrificus Totalus!"

"..."

"Bloody hell mate. You're a complete bass ass this morning! What was that for?"

"That, Sirius – was for Freddie Mercury!"

--

**Review? **


	8. Siriusly?

A/N: This drabble is dedicated to Aiiimy, who was so awesomely awesome that she reviewed all my chapters' to-date! Thank you! :] This one is a little more sentimental...

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"Nughhh – "

"Bloody hell Wormtail! Shut up will you?"

"Nom, nom, nom..."

"I think he's sleeping talking, Pads..."

"I can bloody well _hear_ that, thank you Captain Obvious!"

"Sorry mate. Y'know I'm tired too!"

"Yeah, sorry. ...I don't know how Remus can sleep through this every night."

"Well, I think that he needs the most kip out of all of us, poor guy"

"Yeah, you're right. Hey Pads?"

"What Prongs?"

"Seeing as it is our last year..."

"Yes?"

"I-well, I was thinking..."

"Yeah Prongs? Just spit it out already!"

"I was thinking of asking Lily to marry me. Once we graduate..."

"..."

"Sirius? So-um, what do you think?"

"Merlin's _beard_ mate. I-I never thought that..."

"I'd be asking the one girl who has hated me for years, to marry me?"

"Well, well – yeah!"

"Ha, well I suppose you're right. But what do you think?"

"Go for it! I mean, I'm pretty sure that she shares your feelings, and with the war on..."

"Yeah. But I just can't help but wonder, what if it all goes wrong?"

"Like...what do you mean? She says no?"

"Yeah..."

"Blimey – I hadn't thought about that. I wouldn't think so."

"Really?"

"Mmm – She is in love with you, I think Prongs."

"I hope so and I hope she says yes, cause-"

"...cause what?"

"If she does say yes, then...I'd like you to be best man at the wedding."

".... Are you serious?"

"Haha, Sirius asking if _I'm_ serious-um, yes I am."

"Well shit, you could knock me over with a feather right now!"

"Will you? If she says yes, of course?"

"Of course I will mate! ...What are friends for right? Besides – I could pick up some hot bridesmaids."

"Ha, really Sirius? For all you know, she could have Sarah Midgen as her Bridesmaid!"

"Ah, but you're forgetting James, the glorious invention that is Firewhiskey..."

"Ugh – you're terrible."

"Why thank you, now-"

"Nurghhhhh..."

"Aaannnd, Wormtail's back with us."

"Nice to know he hadn't died."

"And there I was thinking I'd get some sleep tonight!"

"Meh, don't stress yourself Pads. I'm the one stressing..."

"Fair point. Anyway – night."

"Good night, James."

"Blooorrrttt..."

"Shut it, Wormtail!"

--

**Review? **


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